🔗 Share this article

Basic Toilet Humor

Restroom comedy has always been the comfort zone of your Daily, and publications remain attentive of notable bog-related stories and key events, notably connected to soccer. What a delight it was to find out that an online journalist a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Reflect for a moment about the Tykes follower who took the rest room somewhat too seriously, and was rescued from a deserted Oakwell following dozing off in the toilet at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “His footwear was missing and couldn't find his phone and his cap,” stated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And everyone remembers during his peak popularity at Manchester City, the controversial forward visited a nearby college to use the facilities in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then entered and inquired directions to the restrooms, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a student told local Manchester media. “Subsequently he wandered around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Lavatory Departure

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as the England coach following a short conversation in a toilet cubicle alongside FA executive David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the legendary venue. As Davies remembers in his diary, his private Football Association notes, he had entered the sodden troubled England locker room right after the game, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams “fired up”, both players begging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies found him slumped – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the dressing room corner, muttering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Collaring Keegan, Davies worked frantically to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate for confidential discussion?” stated Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Merely one possibility emerged. The lavatory booths. A significant event in English football's extensive history occurred in the ancient loos of a stadium facing demolition. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I secured the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

And so, Keegan resigned, subsequently confessing he considered his stint as England manager “soulless”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It’s a very difficult job.” The English game has progressed significantly over the past twenty-five years. For better or worse, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are no longer present, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Real-Time Coverage

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Quote of the Day

“There we stood in a long row, in just our underwear. We represented Europe's top officials, elite athletes, role models, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with strong principles … however all remained silent. We hardly glanced at one another, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina inspected us completely with a freezing stare. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures referees were previously subjected to by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss called ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to oversee the primary team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and awarded some merch, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights on the school grounds with children he knew would beat him up. This self-punishing inclination must explain his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|